The Things I Do, But I Wish I Didn’t Do

1. Finding something wrong in a person to give me a reason not to like them.
2. Letting myself fall for someone who isn’t on this island so I can say, “I just can’t do long distance.”
3. Thinking of how other people would approve of things versus my opinion.
4. Putting other people’s wants and needs before mine.
5. Never saying NO!
6. Sacrificing my time for everyone else.
7. Feeling Guilty for things that are not my fault.
8. Caring too much.
9. Holding everyone to a standard that no one has met.
10. Taking out my stress and anger on the ones who truly love me.

Sea Food Dinner w/ @jenehhh @xdosequisx @adobopalusami #nicos #ahi #calamari #crab  (at Nico’s at Pier 38)

Sea Food Dinner w/ @jenehhh @xdosequisx @adobopalusami #nicos #ahi #calamari #crab (at Nico’s at Pier 38)

Sunset, Dinner & Good Company on the Pier w/ @xdosequisx @adobopalusami @jenehhh #nicos  (at Nico’s at Pier 38)

Sunset, Dinner & Good Company on the Pier w/ @xdosequisx @adobopalusami @jenehhh #nicos (at Nico’s at Pier 38)

Cake Pops: Carrot Cake, Chocolate Peanut Butter & Cheesecake Melba @yelphawaii @outback #yelphawaii #outbacksteakflights #yelplife #yelpelite #yelp  (at Outback Steakhouse)

Cake Pops: Carrot Cake, Chocolate Peanut Butter & Cheesecake Melba @yelphawaii @outback #yelphawaii #outbacksteakflights #yelplife #yelpelite #yelp (at Outback Steakhouse)

Crab & Artichoke Stack, Sirloin, Fillet and a the sauces @yelphawaii @outback #yelphawaii #outbacksteakflights #yelplife #yelpelite #yelp  (at Outback Steakhouse)

Crab & Artichoke Stack, Sirloin, Fillet and a the sauces @yelphawaii @outback #yelphawaii #outbacksteakflights #yelplife #yelpelite #yelp (at Outback Steakhouse)

Sneak Peak for their New Menu before its released. Thanks @yelphawaii @outback #yelpelite #yelp #yelphawaii #outbacksteakflights #yelplife  (at Outback Steakhouse)

Sneak Peak for their New Menu before its released. Thanks @yelphawaii @outback #yelpelite #yelp #yelphawaii #outbacksteakflights #yelplife (at Outback Steakhouse)

🐢 Meet Bubbles, my new baby #boxturtle  (at Home)

🐢 Meet Bubbles, my new baby #boxturtle (at Home)

🍳 Brunch ; Eggs, Spam & Guava Nectar  (at Mi Ho Me )

🍳 Brunch ; Eggs, Spam & Guava Nectar (at Mi Ho Me )

👋 Hello Ginza. it’s been a week #saturdays #usual #ginzanightclub #ginza (at Ginza)

👋 Hello Ginza. it’s been a week #saturdays #usual #ginzanightclub #ginza (at Ginza)

🍶 Jameson to start night w/ @katheezy & @jusebox #hinightlife

🍶 Jameson to start night w/ @katheezy & @jusebox #hinightlife

Congrats @leaadee w/ @mainejoy @jusebox #smileboxhawaii #photobooth #gradparty (at Keʻehi Lagoon)

Congrats @leaadee w/ @mainejoy @jusebox #smileboxhawaii #photobooth #gradparty (at Keʻehi Lagoon)

Cold Poke on Hot Rice #onlyinhawaii  (at Mi Ho Me )

Cold Poke on Hot Rice #onlyinhawaii (at Mi Ho Me )

Expanding my Mini-Organic Garden #organic #soil #garden  (at Koolau Farmers)

Expanding my Mini-Organic Garden #organic #soil #garden (at Koolau Farmers)

🌱 @jordannncee #vine #follow #latepost #iphoneonly #app

🌱 @jordannncee #vine #follow #latepost #iphoneonly #app

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My life has been always been bounded to goals and dreams that I know I can achieve.  I knew my future and how to get there.  I knew the outcome for every decision I have ever made.  I have been reserved.  To the world I look like I am living a life worth living; but to me, I’m living a life of limits.  I have minimal to no risks.  A life with no risks will only have certainty.  I am beginning to wonder if certainty is a good thing.   Does the certainty of security lead you to happiness? Or does risks of the un-expectancy?

I am on a journey to seek my happiness.  Will I find it here in Hawaii?  Maybe.  Or maybe I need to take a risk and move away.  Leave the comfort of my home, friends and family.  Live my life on the edge.   It’s a big step and I am over planning it, but I think I need to stop taking steps and start jumping.  Jump into irrational and spontaneous decisions.  Just pack a bag and take off to California.  Drop everything I have here and start a new life elsewhere.   Jump into risks of the unexpected. 

Will risks lead me to happiness?  I would never know unless I take stab at it.